Some years ago I had a young couple come in to see me to ask if I would marry them. The couple did not have the maturity to be married, but her mother and father had kicked her out of the house because she was pregnant. She was an embarrassment to them. So, she moved in with the boyfriend. Now, I know some pastors who would not marry them because they were living together. But, what do we want them to do? I want them to be responsible for that little one. They should settle down, get married, and raise their family. But, her parents just relinquished any responsibility and separated from her, as well as their soon to be new grandchild. How sad.

I did do pre-marital counseling and married the couple because I think that is the responsible thing to do. Her parents blew it because they didn’t understand unconditional love. So, they forced her into the arms of the young father. Its a tough way to learn about life. How much better it had been if those parents had sat down with the couple and coached them through what was ahead. It could have been a positive learning experience for everyone and they could have redeemed this relationship.

I’m reminded of another case where a responsible father sat down with his teenage son and had that straight talk, saying, “OK, now here’s the plan if your girlfriend gets pregnant…” “Dad,” the son replied, “that’s not going to happen.” Dad said, “I hope not, but let’s talk about what would have to happen. First, you’d have to sell that muscle car you’ve got, because with a family you can’t afford that. Then, you’re going to have to quit school and get a job because you’ve got responsibilities…” And Dad painted such a bleak realistic picture for the young man that he promised himself that would never happen! True story. Talk straight with your kids and love them no matter what stupid stunts they pull.