We got a new kitten. Anita felt sorry for our adult female cat (named Michael Tyson) being all alone, so we agreed to get a baby kitten. This one is a male and just old enough to separate from its mother. Anita asked me to name him, so he has been dubbed ‘Gizmo’. She asked me what they meant, and I replied that its a nickname for ‘Gadget’.
But Tyson is not about to be consoled by the male Gizmo. She hisses and bats him around. So Anita was sitting on the porch yesterday trying to get them to make friends. Not happening. These two cats are going to have to work out their differences on their own as they carry out their ‘turf war’ and establish their own ‘pecking order’.
I was reflecting on Anita’s vain efforts while mowing the lawn Sunday afternoon, and they Lord spoke to my heart. Over the years I’ve had several situations where parents got involved trying to help their adult married children fix their marriages. Its never been helpful! The only way young married couples work out their own ‘turf wars’ is to verbally bat each otther around a bit until they learn how to find what works for them. Every couple has to work that out and parents need to stay out of it and pray for them.
Parents can give advice to each individually, but to get into the fray is always disastrous. For parents of adult married children, the best advice is to only respond to questions asked. That’s when they’re ready to listen.
Tags: conflicts, marriage, parenting
The Proverb writer penned: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverb 15:1).
Meditate on this thought today. If you reply with a gentle answer, anger is turned away, whereas if you reply harshly, you are the one stirring up anger. What does that say about how you should respond to your spouse? What does that say about how you should treat your children?
I remember a elderly man at Betz’s Nursing Home that was always pursuing the ladies and would get irate whenever the aides tried to redirect him. One time when I was there he exploded in anger and yelled at another resident. As his rage increased I walked up to him, sat down next to him and calmly asked him questions. He railed away to me and his voice got softer and softer as we talked. I dispelled his anger by just giving him attention. Afterward an aide thanked me for helping with him.
Is it possible you can do the same thing at home? Just remain calm and ask questions. Don’t escalate the conflict. A harsh word will always escalate the situation. Let’s apply biblical practices to our personal lives.
Tags: anger, conflicts, peace
One day, a man came home from work and his wife greeted him. “I’ve got good news and bad news,” she said.
He swallowed hard and said he’d like the good news first.
“The air bag works,” she said.
You can’t have a healthy marriage without some difficulties. When problems arise, they reveal to us areas where we need to improve. How do we deal with our spouse’s irresponsibility? How do we react when their mistake costs us money? We all have to deal with these things. Either we damage the relationship or it grows. And its up to us. And the test is coming. How will you react?
Tags: conflicts, humor, marriage