What do doctors, mechanics, and pastors all have in common? Answer: they all benefit from someone else’s problems. Doctors repair physical ailments, mechanics repair mechanical breakdowns, and pastors repair spiritual problems that manifest themselves in marriage problems, financial dilemmas, and moral problems. In other words, the results of sin.
Because of my own failures in past relationships, one of my primary callings is to help heal broken lives and marriages. I’m not always successful because some people are too stubborn and set in their dysfunctional ways. But I have seen some major breakthroughs. I remember counseling with one couple who was referred to me who did not attend our church. There had been an affair and deep bitterness on both sides. I first had to let them both express themselves and that added to the stress of the meeting, because they were both very angry.
My next step was to point out where they had gone wrong and set each other up for this failure. In other words, you’re not bad people, just bad management. I encouraged them that they were both normal.
Finally, I explained how the only hope they had was to forgive each other, and start over. I made them ask each other for forgiveness for their shortcomings. Then I made each of them speak out the acceptance of the forgiveness. Forgiveness is a gift that releases spiritual bondage. As they did that tears flowed freely. They were going to start over with a fresh start, never bringing up the past again.
Is there an area where you need to forgive your spouse? Are you harboring resentment from past hurts? Release yourself by giving them over to God. He is the healer, but we must partner with Him in the healing by releasing the other. Turn those offenses over to God and release your anger.