PERFECT MELANCHOLY
The second of the four temperaments (personalities) is the Melancholy. Melancholies are perfectionists. They want to do it right the first time. They don’t make decisions until they have all the information. And, because they can’t get all the information, they never get around to making a final decision. Everyone hates shopping with a Melancholy! And they always have a stack of half-finished projects that aren’t quite perfect yet.
Melancholies tend to be moody because their emotional need is to do everything perfectly. But, in a fallen world, nothing comes out perfectly, so they beat up on themselves for failing and not being perfect. They also told that high standard for others, so they tend to become very critical of others.
Melancholies also are inward processors that tend to be introverts. Their mind is always going, analyzing everything around them. They are not only slow in their decisions, they are also slow in their communication because they say everything just right. Melancholies are hard to read; they tend to not show expression, and people don’t know if they like it or not.
While Phlegmatics are relationship oriented, Melancholies are task oriented. They like working alone and no one finds it fun working with a perfectionist. Melancholies are super-organized (not necessarily neat) and love to work with lists, charts, graphs and research. When given a behind-the-scenes task, they do it perfectly. Prominent Melancholies in our church would be people like Layna Houser and Chris Clear.
How do we work with a Melancholy? First, don’t give them tasks in front of people. They can do it well, but they prefer to work behind the scenes getting things organized and set up. Give them time to process and research and get it right. And, never point out their errors because it is an attack on their person, as they see themselves as perfect.
Both Peaceful Phlegmatics and Perfect Melancholies are introverts and tend to see all the possible problems coming up. Tomorrow we’ll discuss the other temperaments which tend to be extroverts and optimists. What have you learned about dealing with Perfect Melancholies?
Tags: perfect, personalities