“You’re blocking the way, sir,” said the usher to a man sprawled in the aisle of a movie theater. “Please get up.”

The man didn’t move or reply. The usher called the manager over, who said, “I must ask you to move.”

Still the prone man didn’t reply. So the manager called the police. “Get up or I’ll have to take you in,” the officer said. “Where did you come from, anyway?”

The man finally stirred and said, “The balcony.”

Have you ever felt condemnation toward another who was down and out? How can we judge someone when we haven’t walked in their shoes or understood what they have gone through that brought them to that place? Let’s be a little more understanding. Our job is not to judge, but to assist others on their spiritual journey. How are you helping?

Tags: humor, judging, mercy, resurrection

Author Ronald Rood visited a class of second-graders and gave a slide presentation of a Hawaiian volcano. The pictures showed molten lava pouring into the sea and steam rising a mile into the air. The scene was so graphic that the children could almost hear the roar. Rood then passed around a piece of lava for the youngsters to examine. After it was handled by two dozen hands, one little boy brought the rock back to the front. Carefully cradling it in his hand, he exclaimed with wide eyes, “Mr. Rood, it’s still warm!”

What an imagination. What if we could imagine the stories in the Bible like that little boy imagined the lava rock. The stories would come alive. The Bible characters were real people like you and me. Let’s ask God to make their experiences come alive to us, so that we can learn from their examples.

Tags: humor, imagination

During the dark days of World War II, Winston Churchill valiantly challenged his countrymen to “Never give up”.

A spry lady who lived in a retirement home once spotted an older and distinguished gentleman who was a new resident seated in the dining hall.

She promptly sat down in front of him and attempted to get his attention with warm smiles. She saw a husband in the making.

Growing uncomfortable he asked, “May I help you?”

She shot back, “You look just like my third husband. The wave of your hair, your countenance, the look of your hands.”

Now very uncomfortable he said, “Now, ma’am, how many times did you say you have been married?”

She smiled and said, “Twice.”

Now there’s a lady who will never give up.

Tags: humor, marriage

As Christians, we are pulled in two directions. We all want to go to heaven, but this life also holds great appeal. We are like the youngster in Sunday school who listened intently while the teacher told about the beauties of heaven. She concluded by saying, “Raise your hand if you want to go to heaven.”

Every hand shot up immediately – except one. “Why don’t you want to go to heaven, Johnny?”

“Well,” he replied, “Mom just baked an apple pie for dinner.”

Tags: heaven, humor

The old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his doctor and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit, one on each side of his bed.

The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything. Both the doctor and lawyer were touched and flattered that the preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled; the preacher had never given them any indication that he particularly liked either of them. They both remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed, covetousness and sinful behavior that made them squirm in their seats.

Finally, the doctor said, “Preacher, why did you ask us to come?” The old preacher mustered up his strength, then said weakly, “Jesus died between two thieves…and that’s how I want to go.”

We’re all going somewhere. Do you know where?

Tags: greed, heaven, humor

Cranky grandpa was asleep on the living room couch. Little Johnny decided to pull a prank on grandpa by putting a little Limburger cheese on his mustache. Presently grandpa awoke and sat up. “Boy, this couch stinks,” he said, walking into the kitchen. After moment or two, he announced, “This kitchen stinks, too,” and stepped outside for some fresh air. In time he delighted Johnny by shouting, “The whole world stinks!”

The next time we announce that the whole world stinks, perhaps we should check ourselves out. Perhaps the problem is our own stinkin’ attitude. If I expect to be treated badly, I surely will be treated badly. Perhaps if put a little positive spin in my life, some positive stuff will return. The problem is not in the circumstances, its with my attitude.

Tags: attitude, humor