Three more days with the catheter! When I was about to be discharged from the US Army, I had a short-timer’s calendar on my locker door and I checked off the days I had left in the service. I feel like I could make one of those for this occasion, as well. I’m now doing well enough that I spent a little time at my desk yesterday afternoon. Sitting up is still difficult with the catheter, though.
Today is Veteran’s Day in the US. Later today I plan to finish Stephen Ambrose’s book D-Day. There were two great lessons I gleaned from this epic history of the Normandy Invasion. First, I was struck by the amount of detailed planning that went into that assault, of which I’ve already commented. Secondly, I was impressed with the necessary rethinking that had to take place when all those plans fell apart. They trained for the plan, but not for the failure of the plan. Every man was on his own to not only survive, but to come up with an alternate plan to accomplish the ultimate goal.
That reminds me of the church. We put plans in place, but they often don’t go as we planned. Churches often play the blame game or split when those failures happen, rather than remembering the goal, regrouping, and trying a new angle. I’m praying the Lord helps me to be creative and innovative in this changing world.
Monday morning. I just got off the phone with the Dr.’s office. They assured me the reason Dr. Weise wants me to remain on the catheter until Friday is he wants to give my body a little more time to heal. I’m at peace with that if its in my best interest. As long as I take the medicine regularly, I’m doing better. They scheduled me for 8AM Friday so we have the whole day to make sure the plumbing works as it should. That’s cutting it close because I’ve promised to share my story at the men’s breakfast Saturday morning. But I’m optimistic about it.
I want to thank everyone for your cards and expressions of love through this difficult time. I’ve tried to be very open about this whole process because I wanted to give you permission to be open about your lives, as well. In Christian circles we often tend to live an artificial life, talking about our successes but afraid to talk about our real life for fear someone will think there is sin in our lives, or we don’t have enough faith. If we are artificial, everyone else thinks they are also supposed to be artificial, and we then live in a phony world. Victories come through winning battles, not escaping them. So, be honest.
I think I’ve learned two awesome lessons today. The first is about life. The past day or so I have been really uncomfortable with this catheter and was bemoaning how slowly the day was going, wishing the time would pass so another day with this suffering would be behind me. And it reminded me how differently I normally look at time. Usually I reach for every minute I can, and make maximum use of it. I always have some project I’m working on and there never seems to be enough time in a day. I guess I love life and value the time God has given me. Only the present struggle has made me realize that.
Secondly, I was talking to God about why this catheter was so doggone uncomfortable. This has been really painful every morning, but seems to get better in the afternoon. Why was this? And it finally dawned on me. I hate to take pain medicine, so I reduced the prescription-strength Ibuprofen to once a day instead of three times a day. So I went back to three times a day and it is much better. I believe God has shown me it was not Satan, but my own stubborn resistance to the medicine that has been my pain problem all along. This answer to prayer (James 1:5) is like a breakthrough to me. Its as if God was saying, “Listen to the Doctor, Stupid! There’s a reason he prescribed that stuff to you.”
Having heard from God (again), I now have strength to make it until next Friday (6 days). I can do this one day at a time. What are you struggling with that you have to focus on one day at a time?
Friday afternoon I received a phone call from my Dr.’s office. The nurse said the Doctor wanted to leave this catheter in until next Friday, a week away. I’m usually very submissive to whatever the Doctor wishes (he is the expert), but I remembered that when we set the appointment to have the catheter removed this past Tuesday, the receptionist mentioned that the Dr. was really backlogged. If waiting until next Friday is what’s best for me, I’ll live with that, but if this is what is best for the Doctor’s schedule, I’m not OK. So I pushed back a little and told her to tell him how uncomfortable I am with this. She never got back with me, so I won’t know for sure until Monday if I go in on Monday or have to wait until Friday.
But I don’t feel discouraged this time, I feel angry. I feel like Satan has found an opportunity to hinder me and make me miserable so I lose the joy of the Lord. So, I got serious with God in prayer and told Him that I’m willing to trust Him in this healing and recovery process, but I expect Him to do battle for me and defend me. If this is Satan’s trickery, then I ask God to reverse the decision, otherwise I’ll put up with the catheter another week (unhappily).
My passive Christianity is running thin and I’m mad at Satan. What is making you angry?
I’m doing OK today except for this miserable catheter and being bored out of my gourd. I’m tired of watching TV and I’m so tired of sitting that my caboose hurts. Three more days with this infernal catheter!
A Word to President-elect Obama: You are an example to us all that it is possible to come from a low estate in life and be very successful. You now have 4 years to prove to Americans that you can also lead this nation out of the mess its now in. We’re behind you in that. We want to see you succeed.
A Word to the church: The election is over. Barack Obama is about to become our President. We must stand together to support him. If he fails, we all fail. He deserves a fair chance to prove himself. We should judge his behavior, not his ethnic background. Remember that He is God’s choice for us (Romans 13:1). There may be more than one way to accomplish a goal, and I pray his new way works.
A Word to President George W. Bush: Enough with the child’s play! If you want to get those Afghan prisoners at Guantanamo to talk, try the new high-tech torture device that leaves no lasting marks: give those guys catheters for two weeks and they will betray their grandmothers to get free.
What is the Lord teaching me through this process? It must be patience. But there is a big difference between the Lord teaching me and me learning it. The Father was only in a hurry when the Prodigal Son came back home! How is the Lord teaching me patience?
First, one of the many get well cards I received was from Denny, who referred to this time as “be still” time. Then, the Taylor girls sent me get well notes and enclosed some of their Halloween candy to cheer me up (the good stuff, too). That communicated care from my church family. And then there was the “It is Well with my Soul” reminder I just got from Tom & Alice Filbrun. These things remind that this world is not my home, I’m just passing through. Material and worldly blessings never last, only the eternal ones.
So, if this trial is the vehicle God can use to teach me (us) patience, so be it. I trust Him!
How is God teaching you patience?
I guess today I’m learning a lesson about discouragement. And I have reason to be discouraged. Last week I basically had no problem just sitting in my recliner and reading, because I looked forward to sitting at my desk this week getting some work done. Now here I sit in my recliner a second week, bored silly. The surgeon wanted to get me off the catheter as early as possible, because the quicker I get those muscles working the better the chances of total recovery. Now I lose a whole week of recuperation time with the catheter back in. And on top of that, the antibiotic I’m taking makes me nauseous and I have to keep eating all the time to settle my stomach.
Ive been writing this blog each day giving positive news about my progress. I’m supposed to be an example of being an overcomer and stay encouraged, but its not working out that way.
I awoke this morning about 4AM and was laying in bed feeling sorry for myself about all these things, and the Lord reminded me that when I had the catheter carefully reinserted (a Urologist did that because they were afraid of damaging the stitches in the urethra) he said, “If I can’t get this in, I’ll have to go up and look at the urethra”. I knew that would be painful, so I submitted myself to the Lord in prayer and it slid right in.
God was saying, “Quit griping and count your blessings. It could be worse.” So I think I will.
What struggles are you going through that could be worse?