A man was having difficulty communicating with his wife and concluded that she was becoming hard of hearing. So he decided to conduct a test without her knowing about it.
One evening he sat in a chair on the far side of the room. Her back was to him and she could not see him. Very quietly he whispered, “Can you hear me?” There was no response.
Moving a little closer, he asked again, “Can you hear me now?” Still no reply.
Quietly he edged closer and whispered the same words, but still no answer.
Finally he moved right in behind her chair and said, “Can you hear me now?” To his surprise and chagrin she responded with irritation in her voice, “For the fourth time, yes! What a warning to us about judging.
Tags: hearing, humor, judging
A pastor was visiting one of his parishioners, and as they were talking, the conversation began to lag. The lady of the house, wanting to pick up the conversation, pointed out her window to her neighbor’s back yard where the wash was hanging on the line. She said: “See that lady next door and the wash she hangs out, see how dirty it is; she never hangs out clean wash.”
The pastor felt somewhat uncomfortable and tried to change the subject and quickly drew the visit to a close. As he was departing from the house the lady of the house walked out on the front porch with him and again the wash next door was clearly visible to them. They both realized at the same time that this wash was sparkling white, just as white as any wash could ever be. The truth began to dawn on them that it was not the neighbor’s wash which was dirty, rather it was the window through which they viewed the wash.
This week we’re going to talk about judging. This neighbor lady passed a judgment on her neighbor through her own eyes, which were faulty, like the man in Jesus’s parable who tried to extract the splinter from his neighbor’s eye while he had a beam in his own eye. Have you ever judged someone and later found out your standard was faulty?
Tags: judging
This weekend we talked about the Body of Christ. I tried to challenge people to see themselves as a vital part of that body. The consumerism mindset in the church today is making its people think selfishly even within the church. We consume services, and run off to the next church if they don’t serve us like we want. Some families have been a part of as many as four or five different churches in as many years. Our society wants others to serve them, but don’t want to serve ourselves.
I’m interested in you take on the weekend services. What stood out to you? Do you disagree with something said or done? What has God been showing you about the Body of Christ?
A minister was delivering a sermon on Temperance. With great emphasis he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.”
With even greater emphasis he said, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and dump it into the river.”
And then finally, shaking his fist in the air for emphasis, he said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.”
Sermon complete, he sat down.
The song leader stood very cautiously and announced, with a bit of a smile, “For our closing song, let’s all sing Hymn #365, “Shall We Gather at the River.”
Tags: humor, temperance
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., was a member of the US Supreme Court for 30 years. His mind, wit and work earned him the official title of “the greatest justice since John Marshall.” At one point in his life, Justice Holmes explained his choice of a career by saying: “I might have entered the ministry if certain clergymen I knew had not looked and acted so much like undertakers.”
Why do you think that influenced him away from ministry? Can the reputation of judges be any better? Why did he choose the courtroom over the chapel?
Tags: joy
Bruce Larson recounted the story of a conference at a Presbyterian Church in Omaha, Nebraska, where people were given helium filled balloons and told to release them at some point in the service when they felt like expressing the joy in their hearts. Since they were Presbyterians, they weren’t free to say, “Amen” or “Hallelujah” or “Praise the Lord”.
All through the service balloons ascended, but when it was over 1/3 of the balloons were unreleased. Let your balloon go!
Why is it so difficult for many Christians to release the joy of the Lord? Is it just culture? Do they have no joy? What do you think is the problem?
Tags: joy
St. Patrick was a missionary to Ireland many centuries ago. He struggled to communicate the principle of the Holy Trinity with the pagans on the island. How could one God be three persons? they argued. Exasperated, Patrick studied the ground with his eyes, searching for an answer. His eyes then fell on a shamrock, which he picked up and held before them.
The shamrock had three leaves, but was really one. He used this shamrock as an object lesson. Three parts, yet one. God was three parts (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), yet one God. Although each part of the godhead was distinct, each with its own purpose and role, they all complemented one another, and worked toward a common goal.
The shamrock has since become a symbol of St. Patrick, but few know why. Now you know the rest of the story. How have you heard the Trinity explained?
Tags: shamrock, St. Patrick, trinity