One of the keys to successful negotiations is to always let the loser save face. President John F. Kennedy understood this. In October of 1962, after more than two weeks of tense negotiation, the Cuban missile crisis was resolved when Soviet leader Nikita Khruschev agreed to remove all missiles from Cuba, if Kennedy, in turn, promised not to invade the island.

The only reason the US considered invading at all was to remove the threat of the missiles. According to Kennedy advisor and biographer Theodore Sorensen, the Preident then “laid down the line for all of us. No boasting, no gloating, not even a claim of victory. We had won by enabling Khruschev to avoid complete humiliation – we should not humiliate him now.”

How many marriages would have been saved if we just made the other party feel like we compromised. How many church splits could have been averted had one side simply refused to not humiliate the other.

How has allowing the other person to save face helped you? What is your story?

Tags: hero, humiliation, Kennedy