I think I’ve learned two awesome lessons today. The first is about life. The past day or so I have been really uncomfortable with this catheter and was bemoaning how slowly the day was going, wishing the time would pass so another day with this suffering would be behind me. And it reminded me how differently I normally look at time. Usually I reach for every minute I can, and make maximum use of it. I always have some project I’m working on and there never seems to be enough time in a day. I guess I love life and value the time God has given me. Only the present struggle has made me realize that.
Secondly, I was talking to God about why this catheter was so doggone uncomfortable. This has been really painful every morning, but seems to get better in the afternoon. Why was this? And it finally dawned on me. I hate to take pain medicine, so I reduced the prescription-strength Ibuprofen to once a day instead of three times a day. So I went back to three times a day and it is much better. I believe God has shown me it was not Satan, but my own stubborn resistance to the medicine that has been my pain problem all along. This answer to prayer (James 1:5) is like a breakthrough to me. Its as if God was saying, “Listen to the Doctor, Stupid! There’s a reason he prescribed that stuff to you.”
Having heard from God (again), I now have strength to make it until next Friday (6 days). I can do this one day at a time. What are you struggling with that you have to focus on one day at a time?
Friday afternoon I received a phone call from my Dr.’s office. The nurse said the Doctor wanted to leave this catheter in until next Friday, a week away. I’m usually very submissive to whatever the Doctor wishes (he is the expert), but I remembered that when we set the appointment to have the catheter removed this past Tuesday, the receptionist mentioned that the Dr. was really backlogged. If waiting until next Friday is what’s best for me, I’ll live with that, but if this is what is best for the Doctor’s schedule, I’m not OK. So I pushed back a little and told her to tell him how uncomfortable I am with this. She never got back with me, so I won’t know for sure until Monday if I go in on Monday or have to wait until Friday.
But I don’t feel discouraged this time, I feel angry. I feel like Satan has found an opportunity to hinder me and make me miserable so I lose the joy of the Lord. So, I got serious with God in prayer and told Him that I’m willing to trust Him in this healing and recovery process, but I expect Him to do battle for me and defend me. If this is Satan’s trickery, then I ask God to reverse the decision, otherwise I’ll put up with the catheter another week (unhappily).
My passive Christianity is running thin and I’m mad at Satan. What is making you angry?
I’m doing OK today except for this miserable catheter and being bored out of my gourd. I’m tired of watching TV and I’m so tired of sitting that my caboose hurts. Three more days with this infernal catheter!
A Word to President-elect Obama: You are an example to us all that it is possible to come from a low estate in life and be very successful. You now have 4 years to prove to Americans that you can also lead this nation out of the mess its now in. We’re behind you in that. We want to see you succeed.
A Word to the church: The election is over. Barack Obama is about to become our President. We must stand together to support him. If he fails, we all fail. He deserves a fair chance to prove himself. We should judge his behavior, not his ethnic background. Remember that He is God’s choice for us (Romans 13:1). There may be more than one way to accomplish a goal, and I pray his new way works.
A Word to President George W. Bush: Enough with the child’s play! If you want to get those Afghan prisoners at Guantanamo to talk, try the new high-tech torture device that leaves no lasting marks: give those guys catheters for two weeks and they will betray their grandmothers to get free.
What is the Lord teaching me through this process? It must be patience. But there is a big difference between the Lord teaching me and me learning it. The Father was only in a hurry when the Prodigal Son came back home! How is the Lord teaching me patience?
First, one of the many get well cards I received was from Denny, who referred to this time as “be still” time. Then, the Taylor girls sent me get well notes and enclosed some of their Halloween candy to cheer me up (the good stuff, too). That communicated care from my church family. And then there was the “It is Well with my Soul” reminder I just got from Tom & Alice Filbrun. These things remind that this world is not my home, I’m just passing through. Material and worldly blessings never last, only the eternal ones.
So, if this trial is the vehicle God can use to teach me (us) patience, so be it. I trust Him!
How is God teaching you patience?
I guess today I’m learning a lesson about discouragement. And I have reason to be discouraged. Last week I basically had no problem just sitting in my recliner and reading, because I looked forward to sitting at my desk this week getting some work done. Now here I sit in my recliner a second week, bored silly. The surgeon wanted to get me off the catheter as early as possible, because the quicker I get those muscles working the better the chances of total recovery. Now I lose a whole week of recuperation time with the catheter back in. And on top of that, the antibiotic I’m taking makes me nauseous and I have to keep eating all the time to settle my stomach.
Ive been writing this blog each day giving positive news about my progress. I’m supposed to be an example of being an overcomer and stay encouraged, but its not working out that way.
I awoke this morning about 4AM and was laying in bed feeling sorry for myself about all these things, and the Lord reminded me that when I had the catheter carefully reinserted (a Urologist did that because they were afraid of damaging the stitches in the urethra) he said, “If I can’t get this in, I’ll have to go up and look at the urethra”. I knew that would be painful, so I submitted myself to the Lord in prayer and it slid right in.
God was saying, “Quit griping and count your blessings. It could be worse.” So I think I will.
What struggles are you going through that could be worse?
I appreciate everyone’s prayers for me. Yesterday they removed my catheter and I felt so much better, as you read. Anita and I even enjoyed a walk outside last evening. Trying to urinate was very painful and just trickled. By morning, those muscles had shut down and I couldn’t drain my bladder. After trying everything we could think of, Anita took me back to Dr.’s office in Ft. Wayne (they said sometimes that happens), where they did an ultrasound on the bladder, found it was indeed full, and reinserted the catheter. I will have to wear this thing until next Monday when we’ll try again.
Vicodin doesn’t seem to affect me much in the area of pain, but after I went back to sleep, I dreamed I was on Omaha Beach on D-Day and was consulting several officers about what strategy we needed to take to get up off the beach! Then, I dreamed I was sitting in a living room with President Richard Nixon, who was lecturing me about the importance of our participating in a global economy. “So, are you in or are you out?” he demanded. I guess I was really out.
I consider going back on the catheter a set-back for me, but we all have had set-backs and recovered. So will I. See ya; gotta go vote.
Pastor is still sleeping this morning, but I know he had a really rough night. With the catheter out, it poses new challenges as he has to use the bladder muscles again. I slept so sound I didn’t know until this morning, but he left me a note: “I took a Vicidin at 3:30.” That told me he’s hurting. This is normal as he’s using the muscles again, but thought if some of you got this you could be praying.
In life we all face new challenges every day. Some more difficult. HE has promised to never leave us or forsake us. We also know God answers prayers and is near as we ‘draw near’ to Him. What new challenges are before you?