I’m coming to terms with the fact that on my own I will always be (my own paraphrase of Romans 7:18b-19) “willing the good, but I can’t perform it. For I don’t do the good thing I want to do, but I end up doing the evil thing I don’t want to do.” I am constantly tortured by my own moral incapacities and failures, no matter how hard I try to avoid them! I can’t quite get away from them.

But, praise God, He has solved the whole problem for me! Now, if I can just stay aware of that fact and stop forgetting it all the time. (Again, my little paraphrase…) “For God has done what the law (being weak because of human flesh) was incapable of doing. God sent his own son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and as a sin-offering; and, right there in the flesh, he condemned sin.” Romans 8:3.

I’m learning, very slowly, and with lots of mistakes along the way, that I can only take charge when God empowers me. I can only stop struggling when God empowers me to stop. I can’t really ever discipline myself on my own, I can only stop not disciplining myself. I need God to enable me to discipline myself.

I have a teacher in a class I am taking right now who pointed out that we really aren’t capable of saying ‘yes’ to God, we are only capable of not saying ‘no.’ That is such a powerful statement! I can only struggle less when I stop saying ‘no’ to God, and let Him enable me to accept and exist in what He has already accomplished.

Now, if I can just learn to stop saying ‘no’ to God! That’s seems to be the kicker! 😀